Romantic Comedy 愛情喜劇片

 Last night my friend and I went to have dinner and watch a movie.  I really needed some time to relax from the everyday craziness of being mom!  She also has two young kids so we usually call each other when we need a break.

昨天晚上和朋友去吃晚餐，看了一場電影。我真的需要從每天當媽媽的瘋狂生活中找時間"休息"一下。我的朋友也有兩個小小孩，所以當我們需要”休息”時，我們會打電話給對方。

After our yummy dinner we went to watch a romantic comedy.  I love watching romantic comedies!  After the movie was done I was thinking about how many people don't like romantic comedies because of how unrealistic they are.  I know parents disprove their daughters watching movies like that, because then they have a false idea of what "love" is supposed to be, and expect their lives to be like fairy tales.

 

吃完了一頓美味的晚餐後，我們去看了一場愛情喜劇片。我喜歡愛情喜劇片!

看完電影後我在想，很多人都不喜歡愛情喜劇片，因為它太不實際。我知道很多父母不喜歡他們的女兒看這類的電影，因為怕他們對愛情有錯誤的認知而去期待自己也有一個童話般的愛情故事。

Of course, romance and love in real life isn't perfectly planned out like in movies, and I would never want my daughter to think that romance is just a few bumps in the road, and then a magical fairy tale ending, but what is wrong with wanting the ideal person to marry?

我當然知道現實生活中浪漫和愛情不可能像電影裡演的那樣完美，而我也絕對不希望自己的女兒相信浪漫的愛情會神奇的出現一個"公主王子永遠幸福的生活在一起”的大結局。不過，有一個想找一個理想的人結婚的願望有甚麼錯呢?

Okay, don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying we should all be waiting around for the perfect Prince Charming to come along before we actually decide to date, or get married.  I'll tell you what I AM saying though..

但是，請不要曲解我的意思。我的意思不是我們都不要約會，不要結婚，除非等到白馬王子出現…讓我來分享我的想法。

 

I find that too many girls settle for men that have less-than-good qualities and use the excuse that "nobody is perfect".  These less-than-good qualities range from somebody who is not completely trust-worthy, to somebody who doesn't look you in the eyes when he talks to you.  What about somebody who tells you he loves you but you are not a priority in his life?  What about somebody who tells you he will be there for you, but only when it's convenient for him?  What about somebody who only seems to pay attention to you when you're alone, but ignores you when there are other people around?  

 

我發現很多女孩子用”世界上沒有完美的男人”來當藉口，將就於”品質不是那麼好”的男生。

舉幾個這所謂的”品質不是那麼好”的例子…

比如說這個男生不是完全的忠實可靠，跟你講話時眼神閃爍，不看著妳的眼睛。

又比如說這個男生跟你說好愛妳，但是他考慮事情或安排事情時卻常常把別的放在妳前面。

再比如說這個人跟妳說，不管甚麼情況只要妳需要，他一定會在妳身邊。

但是….都只有在他方便的時候

有些人跟妳當獨相處時會重視妳，但是當有其他人在場時就忽視妳…

There is no "perfect man" out there, but I feel there are certain things that we can't just "look past" because we are settling, or because we are afraid there is going to be nobody else.  Every girl and every woman deserves at least a man they can trust, a man that is reliable, a man that will make us a priority, and a selfless man who is willing to put our needs before his own.

這個世界上沒有"完美的男人"，但我覺得有幾個觀察指標我們不能忽視。不能為了想抓住一個人或怕自己會碰不到其他的人而將就。每個女生都應當找到一個具有某些重要基本特質的男生，一個可靠，我們能信任，不自私，能永遠把我們的需要放在前面考量的男生。

Jordan and I have known each other since 2005, and of those six years, we have been married for five.  It's not a perfect marriage without disagreements, but one thing I knew for sure when I said "yes" when he proposed, is that he is somebody I can trust, and he loves me, and is willing to put me first in his life.  There were many unknowns when we got married (will we have enough money?  what will we do for school and our jobs?) because we were young, but he had the qualities that I knew that he would always stand by my side as we faced any trial or challenge that life would bring.  Sure enough, he was also my best friend and to this day still makes me laugh and makes me happy.  

 

喬登和我在2005年認識，在這六年裡，有五年我們是結婚的狀態。不用說也知道我們的婚姻也不是完美的。但是有一件事我非常確定，那就是當我說"我願意"時，我知道他是值得我信賴的，我知道他愛我，也知道他願意把我放在他生命中最重要的位子上。

我們很年輕就結了婚，當時我們對未來有很多的不確定(我們的錢夠嗎?我們該繼續讀書還是開始工作?)但是，我先生的特質讓我確信他會跟我永遠在一起，一起去面對人生中的挑戰。不用質疑，他也是我最好的朋友，到今天他仍然帶給我許多歡笑和快樂。

So no, I'm not telling you to look for perfection.  Because it doesn't exist.  But just remember there are some things you don't sacrifice.  Especially your own happiness.  Find a good man with a good heart.   

所以。我不是在告訴妳要找一個完美的人。因為這種人根本不存在。但是不要忘記，有些事是不能犧牲的。特別是妳的快樂。

找一個好男人，一個良善的男人，拍一部屬於自己的愛情喜劇片。

Our Five Year Wedding Anniversary 結婚五周年

In the last seven days alone, we had someone make an offer on our house, we moved out of our house completely, cleaned it completely, and also somehow managed to fly out to look for housing in a new state.   

在過去短短的七天裡，我們賣掉了房子，打掃乾淨搬了出去，並且找時間飛到我們要搬去的地方找到了我們的新房子。

Since we didn't have much time to be organized when we packed, my laptop is still under a pile of something somewhere.  

由於我們沒有太多的時間計畫如何打包，我的筆電目前仍然混在一堆沒有分類的行李中，不知去向。

I was so relieved when we found out someone wanted to buy our place.  We have been trying to sell it since we are leaving, and have had no luck at all.  My emotions run my life these days, so it has been emotionally-draining these days to cope with leaving a house that was filled to the brim with memories.  Last night we walked through the house for the last time to take pictures.  I cried as I went into each room and thought about all the happy memories we created in each of those rooms.  

我那顆緊繃多時的心，在知道有人要買我們的房子時候才放了下來。

由於要搬到別州，我們試著賣我們的房子。

但是一直都沒有好運，導致這些日子以來，我的生活被我的情緒完全掌控。

一方面是對房子賣不出去的擔心，另一方面則是對這個充滿回憶的房子百般不捨。昨天晚上，我們最後一次進屋去照相留念。

走進每個房間，想到每一個我們在這裡創造的快樂回憶，

讓我忍不的哭泣。

I kept apologizing to Jordan for being so crazy, but all he did was smile and tell me that he loved the house too.

我為自己的情緒失控跟喬登道歉。

但是他的反應只有笑了笑，並對我說:我也喜歡這個房子。

I kept telling myself that it was just a shell, and the family is what makes a house a home.

It's hard for me to fight my sentimental thoughts, but as we were driving back to my in-laws' late last night, I looked over at Jordan and knew that as long as we have a strong marriage and a strong family, any change or trial will be manageable.  

我不斷的告訴自己，房子只是一個殼，家人在一起的地方才是家。

只是跟自己的多愁善感對抗真的是一件很難的事。

但，昨晚在我們開車回我公婆家的路上，我看著喬登，心裡清楚的知道

只要我們有鞏固的婚姻和家庭，我們就能夠面對人生裡的改變及考驗。

June 3rd is our five year wedding anniversary.  It has gone by so fast.  It feels like it has only been one year, and somehow in one year we managed to buy a house, have 2.5 kids, sell a house, switch career paths, go back to school, and move out of state.  

6月3日是我們結婚五周年的紀念日。

時間過得真快。但是感覺上卻好像只過了一年。

在這些感覺像一年的日子裡，我們設法買了房子，有了2.5個孩子，又賣了房子，換了工作跑道，回學校唸書，即將搬離熟悉的地方……

I could probably write a lot of stuff here as a tribute to great my husband is, because I truly think he is.  But I tell him all the time, and I don't want you guys to vomit.  So instead I'll write a few things that I learned in the last five years of marriage.

我可以在這裡寫一大串感謝詞去讚美我的丈夫，因為我覺得他真的是一個非常好的丈夫。但是我時常告訴他我的想法，也不想讓大家覺得反胃…

所以我決定只寫下過去五年裡我在我的婚姻中學習到的事物.


1. Marriage takes work.  If you choose not to work on it, then it will not succeed.  The best way to ensure happiness in a marriage is to put the other's needs before yours.  Then who is going to take care of your needs then, you ask?  Well, your spouse will.  And loving someone that much and being loved the same way in return is the most happy feeling ever.

    
婚姻需要經營。

如果選擇不去經營，那麼這個婚姻就不容易成功。
最好的方法去確保一個幸福的婚姻，就是”優先考慮另一半的需要”。

你可能會問，那誰來滿足我的需要呢? 

很簡單，你的另一半會。

在婚姻裡最幸福的就是…

你愛一個人多少，也同樣地被愛多少。

   

2.Don't keep score.  What I mean by that is, if you think you're about to say something like "you think YOU'RE tired?!  Try changing diapers all day!" then stop yourself.  This fight will get nowhere.  Same thing goes for counting how many times you've done the laundry, or how many times he's given the kids a bath.  You'll get nowhere.

 凡事不要計分。

我的意思是如果你很想說”你覺得你累?!換你來試試整天在家換孩子的尿片”

請停止!因為這種爭吵不會有結果。

除此之外，誰洗了幾次衣服，誰給孩子洗了幾次澡…都不必爭，因為

這種計分方式結不出有意義的果實.


3.People always say that husbands and wives should spend time apart.  I agree with that, but I think working on the time you spend together is more important.  By that I mean, are you talking?  Are you communicating?  Are you each other's first priority?  Are you each other's best friends?  Because while that might seem juvenile of me to idealize marriage like that, I think that's how it should be.  

創造夫妻共同的生活

許多人說夫妻各自需要擁有自己的生活。
我同意。但是我認為更重要的是夫妻要去學習如何創造共同的生活。

你們聊天嗎?你們溝通嗎?

你是對方做任何安排時的首要考量因素嗎?

你們是彼此最好的朋友嗎?

也許這些看起來都是我對理想婚姻不成熟的憧憬…

但是

我真的認為婚姻應該是這樣的。


4.Marriage is realizing that you're two different people, raised by different parents in different environments with different upbringings and thoughts.  There will be disagreements but the important things is to remember that you chose this person.  Nothing is too hard to overcome if you think of the other person's feelings, and learn to compromise.

對自己的選擇負責任

  在婚姻生活中，我們會明確地認知夫妻是兩個完全不同的個體。

  夫妻來自不同的家庭，在不同的環境裡成就出個人不同的成長過程和思想。

  兩個人之間一定會出現不同的意見。

  但是重要的是要時時記住”這個人是我的選擇”。

  只要兩個人都重視對方的想法並學習妥協，就沒有克服不了的問題。

5.Children change the dynamics of your relationship, but that's why it's so important to take time away from the kids and spend time alone.  I found that becoming a mother caused me to lose sight of who I was as an individual, but spending time alone with my husband helps me remember.  

製造夫妻單獨相處的機會
孩子的加入會改變夫妻的關係。所以夫妻一定要找時間單獨相處。

我發現做媽媽會讓我忘記自己是一個個體，跟先生單獨相處能提醒自己不要 忘記這件寶貴的事。

  

Well, I think I'm going to stop writing now.  One thing I learned for each year of marriage.  I think I could probably keep going though because as I reflect on the last five years, I feel like I've grown a lot as a wife.  

好了，我要停筆了。

否則我應該可以一直寫下去…

因為在過去五年學習做一個妻子的婚姻生活裡，

我真的學到了好多好多。

I know there is no such thing as perfection (thank goodness) but I'm glad I know who I married, and I'm glad I chose him.  Thanks Jordan, for being my husband, and for loving me for who I am, with all my faults.

我當然知道沒有所謂的完美(還好!)，但是我很慶幸我知道我嫁給了甚麼樣的人，也很慶幸我選擇了他。

謝謝你，喬登。

謝謝你成為我的丈夫，無條件地愛我並包容我所有的錯。