Just Some Thoughts 一點感想

I have been really distracted lately.  I know it's because of the baby's pending arrival, but I can't seem to turn my brain off.  I think about labor all day long and a very LONG list of things I still have to do grows longer and longer.

最近的我實在是有一些心煩意亂，思想不集中。我知道原因是這個即將來臨的小baby，但是我就是無法讓我那想東想西的腦袋休息。總是想著生產和不斷增加待辦事物的一條長單子。

Being a mother is hard work.  I know everybody knows that, but I often wonder if people REALLY understand how much work it is to be a mom.

做個媽還真的不容易。我想大家都知道，但是我也常常在想大家到底是不是真的了解一個媽媽所擔負的工作量有多大。

Besides the physical things I do each day (cook, clean, grocery shopping, laundry, run around with kids, cook more, clean more, answer questions, get juice, etc. etc. etc) mentally and emotionally motherhood is hard work.

除了每天的體力勞動(煮飯，打掃，買菜，洗衣服，跟在孩子後面跑，還要…….繼續煮飯，繼續打掃房子，回答問題，拿果汁…….等等等。)

不管是心理上，情緒上，母職都是一項艱難的工作。

I am constantly thinking things like "is this the right way I should handle this right now?"  or "am I treating both kids fairly?"  when I only had Malakai, discipline was easy. Well, easier.  He listened to me and his dad.  Two sources of right and wrong.  But Eli gets a 3rd source, his older brother.  Malakai is not perfect and he is, in fact, a 3-year-old.  But he is WAY more fun than mommy, so Eli tends to copy him more often.  It has been mentally exhausting trying to discipline both equally, fairly, and yet still try to teach them differently because they are very different boys.  I feel like I have to be "on the ball" with parenting 24-7.  It doesn't end when they go to sleep because I think about how to handle a question Malakai asked me, or I wonder if I should be doing more with Eli.

“我現在這樣做對嗎?""我對兩個孩子公平嗎?"這樣的問題時常浮現在我腦中。當我只有凱凱一個孩子時，管教是一件好容易的事。不，不能說好容易，只能說容易些。他總是聽我和他爸爸的話。對凱凱來說，只有兩個聲音，告訴他”對”或”錯”。但是對凱弟來說，卻有三個聲音…媽媽，爸爸，和哥哥。凱凱不完美，而且，事實上他只有3歲。但是他比媽媽有趣多了。所以凱弟總是喜歡模仿哥哥。

要對待這兩個孩子公平，又要對兩個完全不同性格的個體因材施教弄得我精神上非常疲累。感覺上我一天24小時，每週7天無時無刻都站在"做媽媽"的崗位上。就算是孩子們睡著了，我還在想著要如何回答凱凱問的問題，或，猶疑是否給凱弟的時間太少…..

And I'm going to throw another baby into the mix! 

在這樣的混亂中，我的第三個孩子即將加入….

Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE being a mom.  But it is definitely hard work.  Rewarding, but exhausting.
請不要誤會，我非常愛做媽媽。

只不過這真是個艱辛的工作。

雖然有很大的酬賞，

但是…..累斃。