One Month Old 凱妹滿月了

Mei Mei is one month old today!  We are so in love with her!  She is so calm and sweet.  She only cries if she is hungry or has a messy diaper.  She sleeps well at night and only wakes up 1-2 times to feed.  I am very lucky.  No technique there, just pure luck! 

今天凱妹滿月了。我們實在是太愛她了。她是一個非常安靜甜美的小baby，只有在肚子餓和屁屁濕的時候才會哭。半夜裡睡得很好，會醒來喝奶1到2次。我真的很幸運，沒有任何技巧。純粹是”狗屎運”。

Her brothers love her very much.  Malakai loves to hold her and kiss her.  He loves to help me get wipes or diapers and always offers "I'll hold her for you, mommy" or "you can go take a nap, mom, and I'll watch her."  He is starting to be so independent and has been helping me so much, especially by playing with his little brother.  He definitely is more stubborn lately.  I know it's because he wants to be one of the "adults" because he doesn't want to be one of the babies.  when we don't treat him like an adult, that's when he gets mad and acts up.

她的哥哥們非常愛她。凱凱喜歡抱她，親她。

他喜歡幫我拿濕巾，尿片，也常常自告奮勇的說"馬麻!我幫你抱她”或說”妳可以去睡一下，我來看她。”

凱凱越來越獨立，幫了我很多忙。特別是會陪凱弟玩。

不過近來凱凱有越來越固執的情況。我知道他很想成為我們”大人”中的一員，不想再被看成小baby。所以只要我們不以對待大人的方式對他，他就會生氣表現任性。

Eli seemed to take having a new baby very well.  But it's obvious that he has been acting different as well.  He whines a lot more and doesn't like to listen.  He also really needs me.  as much fun as he has with his dad or with his brother, he still cries when he doesn't get enough attention from me.  I do my best now that I feel a little better to spend more time reading and playing with him in the morning when his brother goes to school.

表面上凱弟對家裡多個新生兒這件事，接受的很好。其實不然，很明顯的，在他的一些行為上可以看到改變。他比以前哭鬧的次數增加也變的不很聽話。

目前他還在一個很需要媽媽的年齡。雖然他跟爸爸哥哥可以玩的很開心，但只要他感受不到我足夠的注意，還是會哭。

現在，我盡量利用早上哥哥去上學的時間，讀故事給他聽，陪他玩。

Things are crazy.  That's pretty much all I can say.  Having 3 kids is crazy.  But I love them so much! 

我的生活非常忙亂，所以目前只有時間寫這麼一點點。

帶三個孩子是一件很瘋狂的事。

不過，我真的非常非常愛他們。

She's Here!女兒誕生

I have a very good reason for the lack of blogs lately. 

我有一個很好的理由來解釋為什麼最近都沒有寫新的文章。

Our baby girl has arrived!

我們的女兒誕生了。

She came on October 1st, at 1:13pm.  She was 7lbs 9oz, and 19.5 inches long!  

她出生於10月1日下午1點13分。重3430克，身長為49.53公分。

We went to the hospital on the morning of October 1st at 5am.  I didn't want to get induced, but because of my husband's busy school schedule, I wanted to make sure he was there for the birth of his daughter, so I made an appointment to be induced on Saturday morning.

我們在10月1日凌晨5點到達醫院。我一點也不想被"催生"，但是由於我先生學校課程忙碌，而我希望女兒出生時他能在我身旁，所以我約了醫生在星期六把女兒生出來。

By this point, I was already 5cm dilated, so I thought she would come pretty fast.  I didn't want to use pitocin, which is the medicine they use to start contractions.  I just wanted the doctor to break my water, and see what would happen.  I was put on antibiotics when I first arrived because I tested positive for Group B Strep.  Then at about 8am the doctor broke my water.  Then I walked around the hospital halls to get the contractions going.  Nothing was really happening so the nurse asked me if I would be okay if they turned on the pitocin just a little bit.  I really didn't want to, but nothing was happening so I agreed.

到醫院時，我已經開了5公分，所以我想她應該很快就會出來。我也不想用藥去讓我開始陣痛，我只想要醫生把我的羊水弄破，然後看情形。

由於我的B型鏈球菌抗源測定為陽性，所以我一到醫院時他們就給了我抗生素 。到了8:00左右，醫生弄破了我的羊水。接下來我就在醫院裡走來走去，希望能早些開始陣痛。但是一點動靜也沒有，所以護士問我，要不要打一點催生針，我真的很不想，但是因為一點都沒有要生的意思，我只好同意。

They gave me a minimal amount and I continued to walk through the halls.

他們給了我最低劑量，然後讓我持續的在醫院走來走去。

For some reason I really didn't want to get an epidural this time.  I wanted to experience natural labor.  And it hurt.  A LOT.  I was crying and screaming.  

也不知為什麼，這次我就是不想用無痛分娩。我很想經驗一次自然生產。

但是，真的痛，痛死我了。

從頭到尾我都在大哭和尖叫。

At around 1pm the pain was almost unbearable.  Lucky for me I had a fabulous nurse who would push on my back and talk me through each contraction.  I had very long contractions so the time in between each contraction was very short, and I didn't have enough time to take a breath before the next one began.

下午一點左右，我幾乎已經無法承受這種痛。還好我的護士非常棒，她在我每次陣痛時都會推我的背，並和我說話鼓勵我。我的陣痛很長而兩次陣痛間的時間又非常短，短到連喘一口氣迎接下一個陣痛的時間都沒有。

Finally, I was allowed to push.  Every person within 15 miles of the hospital could probably hear me screaming.  My poor husband had no idea what to do.  In 4 pushes, my little girl arrived.

終於，到了我可以推的時候。

我想醫院中離我方圓15里的人都聽得到我的大呼小叫。

我可憐的丈夫被我慘烈的叫聲弄得不知所措。

還好，

在經過四次的用力推送後，

我的小女兒瓜瓜落地。

I couldn't believe how absolutely exhausted I was.  

真是無法想像人可以累成這個樣子。

But she is here now.  And I love her.  She is beautiful.  

但是，

她誕生了。

我愛她，

她真的好美麗。

Flying to Taiwan長途飛行

I have been having contractions here and there.  But that's not what has kept me so distracted.  I am NESTING like a crazy person.  It's supposed to be a sign of labor when you just want to clean, clean, clean.  That's all I want to do!  I'd rather clean than blog.  Who am I?! Haha. 

最近常常感到肚子一下這裡一下那裡的在收縮。不過，這不是造成我心煩意亂的原因。我覺得自己像一個瘋子一樣愛清理東西。這應該是要生產的前兆…你只想整理，整理，整理….這是我目前唯一想做的事。我情願花時間整天整裡也不寫我的部落格。我到底是誰?哈哈。

I have had lots of requests to write about my experience flying long distances with my children.  I have done it quite a few times, including one time alone with Malakai, from Taiwan to LA and then straight to Utah, when he was about 7 months old.  

許多朋友要我分享我帶孩子長徒飛行的經驗。這種經驗，我有許多次。其中還包括我一個人帶著七個月大的凱凱從台灣飛到洛杉磯再轉機的經驗。

Here are some things that I learned from my experiences that may be helpful for those of you who might be doing the same.

我有一點心得，可能對也要帶孩子長途旅行的 妳有一些幫助。

1.If your baby is still nursing or taking a bottle, wait until the plane is taking off to feed them.  That will help with their ears, and it will also help them calm down.  

如果你的孩子還在哺乳的階段，請等到飛機起飛時再喂他(她)喝奶。這樣既可以避免孩子耳朵不舒服又可以安撫孩子度過起飛時的不穩定。

2.Bring a few new toys they have never seen before.  They don't have to be expensive, or even new.  Perhaps just something they haven't played with for a while.

帶幾樣他們沒玩過的玩具。不需要是甚麼昂貴玩具，甚至可以不要是新的，只要是他們有一陣子沒玩到的東西即可。

3. Bring treats that they haven't eaten before (if they are old enough!).  It could be a new kind of cracker or snack if you don't want your kids to eat candy. 

帶一些他們沒吃過的糖果(孩子夠大的話)。如果你不想給孩子糖吃，可以帶一種新的餅乾或點心。

4. Don't stress.  I know you don't want to disturb other people on the plane and are afraid your baby will bother them, but believe me- your baby's cry seems MUCH louder to you than it does to other people.  Besides, the plane is pretty loud anyway, and people also have headphones.

不要緊張，不要有壓力。我知道你不想打擾到飛機上其他的客人，所以擔心孩子吵。相信我!孩子的哭聲對父母而言感覺很大聲，但是對其他的人卻不是那麼大聲。此外飛行時機艙內也會有吵雜的聲音，再說，乘客們也都有耳機。

5. Another reason to not stress is because if you stress, your baby will sense something is different, and they may stress too.  Just try not to worry.

另一個不要有壓力的原因是，如果你有壓力，孩子會感覺到有事不對勁，他們也會緊張。試著不要擔心這個擔心那個。

6. The plane is not the place to discipline your child.  If they are toddlers, they will not be spoiled forever if you let them have candy or snacks one time on the plane.  You may just have to let them do what they want just on the plane ride.

飛機上不是管小孩的地方。你的孩子不會因為在一次的飛行中吃了糖果或餅乾而被寵壞。飛行中，你可能需要讓他們做自己喜歡的事。

7. Ask the flight attendants for help.  When I was flying alone with Malakai and they saw that I was holding him, they were very nice about serving me a meal later.  

請空中服務員幫忙。我單獨帶凱凱回美國那次，空服員看到我抱著孩子，他們在其他人都吃過飯後才送來我的。

8.  Don't expect anything.  You will probably stay up a few nights before the big trip, worrying about what to pack and what's going to happen, but you really just have to do your best to go with the flow, and play it by ear.

  

不要想著要去預測出所有可能發生的狀況。你可能在出發前的幾個晚上都因為擔心有甚麼突發狀況而東西帶的不夠…

真的不需要這樣，只要把你想到的都帶好了，其他的就隨機應變囉。

9.  I don't know if this counts as advice, but I think flying red-eye is the best choice.  They will be tired, and you will be tired, but least sleep might be more of a possibility! 

不知道這算不算一個建議。我覺得能在晚上飛行應該是最好的。孩子應該會比較累，大人也會累，所以大家都能睡覺的機率較高。

10.  You can do it.  You are a great mom/dad.  If you are there, your baby will feel safe.  

你一定能辦到。你們是最棒的爸爸媽媽。只要有你們在，孩子都會有安全感的。

Well, that's all I can think of right now.  Hopefully that helps a little! 

這些，是我現在所能想到的。希望能幫上忙。

Just Some Thoughts 一點感想

I have been really distracted lately.  I know it's because of the baby's pending arrival, but I can't seem to turn my brain off.  I think about labor all day long and a very LONG list of things I still have to do grows longer and longer.

最近的我實在是有一些心煩意亂，思想不集中。我知道原因是這個即將來臨的小baby，但是我就是無法讓我那想東想西的腦袋休息。總是想著生產和不斷增加待辦事物的一條長單子。

Being a mother is hard work.  I know everybody knows that, but I often wonder if people REALLY understand how much work it is to be a mom.

做個媽還真的不容易。我想大家都知道，但是我也常常在想大家到底是不是真的了解一個媽媽所擔負的工作量有多大。

Besides the physical things I do each day (cook, clean, grocery shopping, laundry, run around with kids, cook more, clean more, answer questions, get juice, etc. etc. etc) mentally and emotionally motherhood is hard work.

除了每天的體力勞動(煮飯，打掃，買菜，洗衣服，跟在孩子後面跑，還要…….繼續煮飯，繼續打掃房子，回答問題，拿果汁…….等等等。)

不管是心理上，情緒上，母職都是一項艱難的工作。

I am constantly thinking things like "is this the right way I should handle this right now?"  or "am I treating both kids fairly?"  when I only had Malakai, discipline was easy. Well, easier.  He listened to me and his dad.  Two sources of right and wrong.  But Eli gets a 3rd source, his older brother.  Malakai is not perfect and he is, in fact, a 3-year-old.  But he is WAY more fun than mommy, so Eli tends to copy him more often.  It has been mentally exhausting trying to discipline both equally, fairly, and yet still try to teach them differently because they are very different boys.  I feel like I have to be "on the ball" with parenting 24-7.  It doesn't end when they go to sleep because I think about how to handle a question Malakai asked me, or I wonder if I should be doing more with Eli.

“我現在這樣做對嗎?""我對兩個孩子公平嗎?"這樣的問題時常浮現在我腦中。當我只有凱凱一個孩子時，管教是一件好容易的事。不，不能說好容易，只能說容易些。他總是聽我和他爸爸的話。對凱凱來說，只有兩個聲音，告訴他”對”或”錯”。但是對凱弟來說，卻有三個聲音…媽媽，爸爸，和哥哥。凱凱不完美，而且，事實上他只有3歲。但是他比媽媽有趣多了。所以凱弟總是喜歡模仿哥哥。

要對待這兩個孩子公平，又要對兩個完全不同性格的個體因材施教弄得我精神上非常疲累。感覺上我一天24小時，每週7天無時無刻都站在"做媽媽"的崗位上。就算是孩子們睡著了，我還在想著要如何回答凱凱問的問題，或，猶疑是否給凱弟的時間太少…..

And I'm going to throw another baby into the mix! 

在這樣的混亂中，我的第三個孩子即將加入….

Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE being a mom.  But it is definitely hard work.  Rewarding, but exhausting.
請不要誤會，我非常愛做媽媽。

只不過這真是個艱辛的工作。

雖然有很大的酬賞，

但是…..累斃。

Pregnancy Photos懷孕攝影

Here are some pictures that my very talented friend Alana took for me. 

這幾張相片是我一位對照相非常有天份的朋友拍的。

I'm 35 weeks, and I can't believe baby girl is coming so soon!  154 pounds and feeling very big. 

我現在是35週。真的不可置信，我的小女兒就要來了!

目前體重是70公斤。感覺自己好龐大。

My doctor took a random blood test to test my sugar levels and she said I'm doing fine.  She told me to still stay away from eating large amounts of sugar. 

醫生替我做了一個隨機抽血的血糖測試，結果正常。

她要我持續遠離含糖太多的食物。

I am so tired but I am getting excited! 

真的很累。
不過，非常興奮!

Pregnancy Update 懷孕近況

Last week I still felt like I was walking like a normal person.  This week I feel HUGE.  All of a sudden sitting isn't comfortable, lying isn't comfortable, and turning from one side to the other actually kinda hurts.  Just look at this picture!  I thought I was pretty small, and then today I took this photo of myself.  My eyes were definitely lying to me.

不過是上星期，我還感覺自己可以像正常人一樣走路。但是這星期，忽然感到自己變的好巨大。忽然之間坐也不舒服，站也不舒服，翻身時還會有點痛。請看相片。我自己還以為自己蠻嬌小的，今天照了這張相片才知道，我的眼睛對我說了謊。

 33 weeks

34 weeks

I have Braxton Hicks ALL the time.  Not only does my stomach tighten during the false contraction, I can feel my uterus pushing on my lungs, making it hard for me to breathe.

在我整個懷孕的過程中我不斷的經驗”假性陣痛”。在假性收縮的時候，它讓我的肚子變的好緊，我可以清楚的感覺到我的子宮推擠著我的肺，讓我呼吸困難。

Drinking water and sitting down helps to reduce my Braxton Hicks a lot.  When I'm up moving around too much, I get tons of Braxton Hicks contractions.

喝水和坐著不動可以幫助我減緩這種現象。但是如果我起來活動太多，這種”假性陣痛”就會一直發生。

My new doctor here told me the baby has already flipped around and her head is down, but she thinks I will probably go into week 39, maybe 40, since I did with both previous pregnancies.

我的新醫生告訴我，我的baby已經翻轉成為頭朝下的姿勢了。不過她判斷由於我的前兩胎都到快40週才生出來，所以這次應該也會撐到39，甚至40週。

My weight is 153 lbs.  Total weight gain so far is 27 pounds!

我目前的體重是69.5公斤，總共重了12公斤。

Road Trip開車旅行

When I didn't have children, road trips were SO much fun.  There is something really fun about driving, seeing new scenery, eating junk food, and talking with your friends the whole way.  It's not the destination that was exciting, it was the journey.

在我還沒有孩子的時候，我覺得開車去旅行是一件非常好玩的事。在車上可以看窗外的風景，吃零食，還可以沿途跟朋友聊天。開車旅行的好玩不在目的地而是在旅程中。

On Sunday evening, I went on the LONGEST ROAD TRIP EVER.  At six pm we started our crazy road trip.  The two kids were still good and happy, not really understanding what we really meant when we explained to them that we'd be in the car for a while.  Good thing we had extra help.  My father-in-law came with us and also two of our friends.  We thought to make it easier on the kids, we'd drive through the night so they could sleep.

 

上星期日晚，我經歷了生平最長最長的"開車旅行"。晚上6:00，我們開始了這一段瘋狂的旅程。這時，兩個孩子還蠻乖的，完全不懂我們向他們解釋"我們大家將在車子裡一段時間”的意義。還好有救兵相助，我們請了我的公公和另外兩個朋友來幫忙。我們想讓孩子舒服些，所以才計畫在晚上開車，好讓他們在車上睡覺而不會覺得路途遙遠。

The kids were so confused, because every 3 hours or so we would stop to get gas for the U-haul, and for some fresh air.  It was good too because being pregnant, it was good for me to get out and stretch my legs (to avoid blood clots) and use the restroom.  

 

結果反而讓孩子們很困惑，因為每三個小時我們需要停下來為裝家具行李的貨車加一次油，順便呼吸一下新鮮空氣。對我來說是一件好事，因為孕婦需要下車活動一下筋骨，順便上洗手間。

Finally around 10am, we arrived at our new place.  

 

好不容易，終於在早上十點到達目的地。

I have requests to write about flying in a plane with my kids, so I'll do that in another entry. 

 

有人希望我能分享帶著孩子在長途的飛行中的經驗，我會另外寫一篇。

Here are some tips that I would give if i were to do that again with young toddlers.

現在，我想分享一些如果日後還有這種帶著年幼孩子的長途旅行的機會，我會用的一些小方法。

1. Arrange the car seats so the kids are next to each other.  They entertain each other.

如果有兩個孩子，把他們的安全椅放在一起，這樣他們可以玩在一起。
2. Make sure there are lots of snacks.

記得準備足夠的零食。
3. Don't worry about the mess they are making in the car.  A small confined space is not the place where you want your kids screaming.

不要在乎車裡被孩子弄髒;在這麼狹窄的空間裡誰也不想聽到孩子被罵後的哭鬧聲。
4. Have plenty of books, stickers and activities, and switch them from one activity to the other rapidly.

準備足夠的書，貼紙和適合在車內玩的遊戲，並且要快速的從一個活動換到另外一個。
5.  Don't stress.  Things are NOT going to go the way you plan, and you HAVE to learn to be flexible.

不可有壓力。事情絕對不會照著計畫進行，一定要學習有彈性。

Now we are here in our new place and excited to start our new journey here. 

現在，我們到了我們的新家，興奮的準備開始我們的新生活。

 
Just like a road trip, my new attitude here while we start a new life is that the best part is not the destination, but the journey!

就像開車旅行一樣，來到這裡我的新態度是:

開始一個新生活最好的部分不是在目的地，而是在旅程中。

See You Soon....

Well, we are in the process of moving our whole lives into this:

And on Sunday we are moving to our new destination.

I may be missing from the blog for about a week. My mom will be back at home from her business trip soon, but I'll be off organizing our new place.

I have been really emotional. I went to spend some time with one of my best friends, who very wisely told me that I need to make sure I don't cry in front of my kids, no matter how sad I am about this move. She knows I'm the kind of person that will do anything for my kids so she told me that I needed to be brave for my kids, so they understand that moving is not a sad thing, but that it's an exciting chance for us grow.  What wise friends I have.

ALSO!  I've been meaning to tell you all.  I failed my first glucose test of this pregnancy.  I was surprised because I consider myself pretty healthy.  But because of that, I am COMPLETELY NOT EATING:

Anything with white sugar

Anything with white flour (white bread, pasta, etc.)

This does not mean that I have gestational diabetes, but I'm still gonna be careful.

Usually I keep those two to a minimum, but now I'm NOT eating ANY of that at all......

I'll let you know how it goes.  It's gonna be hard, but I'm doing it for my baby! 

Well, next time I write I'll be in a brand new state! Take care until then!

WHAT?!

Unfortunately, mom the translator is going out of town on business....so it will be another week before we'll have a proper post.  Sorry....

So Fast!

Well, no translator again today.  Mom's still recovering.

I wanted to just post some pictures, and when I went to upload them, I clicked on an August 2009 album instead of 2011.  In this album I found a picture of me the day I found out I was pregnant with #2.

It really just seems like yesterday that I was at the hospital giving birth to Eli...

And here I am, NINE weeks away from having yet another baby.  You probably think I'm crazy. 

It's because I am.

Here's a picture from last week, at 30 weeks pregnant.  My hair was bad, but I'm feeling good! 

See you Friday for a better post ;)

Ouch.

No Chinese translation today.  Unfortunately, my beautiful mother who is my fabulous translator has a swollen hand and can't type.  I don't know how bad it is, but the the way she described it to me, I imagine it looks something like this....

Feel better, mom!  We love you!


Look for a new post next Tuesday!

Raising Boys教養兒子

Lately I've been finding lots of pictures that Malakai takes with the camera when I'm not around.  Like this.... 

最近，我發現我的相機裡有許多趁我不注意時凱凱拍的相片…..

My first reaction is always to get mad.  He hasn't broken this camera yet, but since he's been born we've gone through 3 cameras because he would find them and then drop them while playing with them.  But yesterday as I was uploading pictures, I found these ones that he took of himself, and couldn't help but smile.  What a funny kid!  My favorite thing about these pictures is that he made a different face in each picture.

我的第一個反應通常是生氣。雖然這個相機還沒被他弄壞，但是從他出生到現在已經有三個相機，因為他拿出來玩掉在地上報銷了。

但是昨天，我拿出相機準備上載相片時，我發現了這些他自拍的相片，

實在是忍不住的笑翻了。真是一個搞笑的孩子!

我最愛的就是他在照每張時都做了不同的怪臉…

Then I remembered a quote I came across a long time ago:

 

這讓我我記起以前看到的一段話:

“My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass"; "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys";”- Harmon Killebrew

 

「小時候，我爸爸跟我及哥哥常在院子裡玩。

我媽媽會出來說”你們在摧毀我的草地”，

我爸爸則會回答說”我們不是在養育草地””我們是在養育兒子” 」

                                      - Harmon Killebrew

I always loved this quote because it reminds that even though sometimes we can't help but be mad, we need to take a step back and put things into perspective.  Our relationship with our children and our desire for them to be happy and healthy should be our utmost priority.  I know that doesn't mean we should just let them run around and break cameras, but I often have to remind myself that things are just things.  Also, kids are just kids. And sometimes, accidents happen.  

 

我真的很喜歡這句話，雖然我們常常不可控制的生氣，但是這句話會提醒我，我們要退一步，更全面的來看事情。對我們來說最重要的是我們跟孩子的關係和希望他們能快樂健康。

當然這不表示我們可以讓他們隨便跑來跑去，順便弄壞相機…

但是很多時候，我需要提醒自己:

”東西只是東西…”

“孩子只是孩子…”

有時候，意外難免發生。

Romantic Comedy 愛情喜劇片

 Last night my friend and I went to have dinner and watch a movie.  I really needed some time to relax from the everyday craziness of being mom!  She also has two young kids so we usually call each other when we need a break.

昨天晚上和朋友去吃晚餐，看了一場電影。我真的需要從每天當媽媽的瘋狂生活中找時間"休息"一下。我的朋友也有兩個小小孩，所以當我們需要”休息”時，我們會打電話給對方。

After our yummy dinner we went to watch a romantic comedy.  I love watching romantic comedies!  After the movie was done I was thinking about how many people don't like romantic comedies because of how unrealistic they are.  I know parents disprove their daughters watching movies like that, because then they have a false idea of what "love" is supposed to be, and expect their lives to be like fairy tales.

 

吃完了一頓美味的晚餐後，我們去看了一場愛情喜劇片。我喜歡愛情喜劇片!

看完電影後我在想，很多人都不喜歡愛情喜劇片，因為它太不實際。我知道很多父母不喜歡他們的女兒看這類的電影，因為怕他們對愛情有錯誤的認知而去期待自己也有一個童話般的愛情故事。

Of course, romance and love in real life isn't perfectly planned out like in movies, and I would never want my daughter to think that romance is just a few bumps in the road, and then a magical fairy tale ending, but what is wrong with wanting the ideal person to marry?

我當然知道現實生活中浪漫和愛情不可能像電影裡演的那樣完美，而我也絕對不希望自己的女兒相信浪漫的愛情會神奇的出現一個"公主王子永遠幸福的生活在一起”的大結局。不過，有一個想找一個理想的人結婚的願望有甚麼錯呢?

Okay, don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying we should all be waiting around for the perfect Prince Charming to come along before we actually decide to date, or get married.  I'll tell you what I AM saying though..

但是，請不要曲解我的意思。我的意思不是我們都不要約會，不要結婚，除非等到白馬王子出現…讓我來分享我的想法。

 

I find that too many girls settle for men that have less-than-good qualities and use the excuse that "nobody is perfect".  These less-than-good qualities range from somebody who is not completely trust-worthy, to somebody who doesn't look you in the eyes when he talks to you.  What about somebody who tells you he loves you but you are not a priority in his life?  What about somebody who tells you he will be there for you, but only when it's convenient for him?  What about somebody who only seems to pay attention to you when you're alone, but ignores you when there are other people around?  

 

我發現很多女孩子用”世界上沒有完美的男人”來當藉口，將就於”品質不是那麼好”的男生。

舉幾個這所謂的”品質不是那麼好”的例子…

比如說這個男生不是完全的忠實可靠，跟你講話時眼神閃爍，不看著妳的眼睛。

又比如說這個男生跟你說好愛妳，但是他考慮事情或安排事情時卻常常把別的放在妳前面。

再比如說這個人跟妳說，不管甚麼情況只要妳需要，他一定會在妳身邊。

但是….都只有在他方便的時候

有些人跟妳當獨相處時會重視妳，但是當有其他人在場時就忽視妳…

There is no "perfect man" out there, but I feel there are certain things that we can't just "look past" because we are settling, or because we are afraid there is going to be nobody else.  Every girl and every woman deserves at least a man they can trust, a man that is reliable, a man that will make us a priority, and a selfless man who is willing to put our needs before his own.

這個世界上沒有"完美的男人"，但我覺得有幾個觀察指標我們不能忽視。不能為了想抓住一個人或怕自己會碰不到其他的人而將就。每個女生都應當找到一個具有某些重要基本特質的男生，一個可靠，我們能信任，不自私，能永遠把我們的需要放在前面考量的男生。

Jordan and I have known each other since 2005, and of those six years, we have been married for five.  It's not a perfect marriage without disagreements, but one thing I knew for sure when I said "yes" when he proposed, is that he is somebody I can trust, and he loves me, and is willing to put me first in his life.  There were many unknowns when we got married (will we have enough money?  what will we do for school and our jobs?) because we were young, but he had the qualities that I knew that he would always stand by my side as we faced any trial or challenge that life would bring.  Sure enough, he was also my best friend and to this day still makes me laugh and makes me happy.  

 

喬登和我在2005年認識，在這六年裡，有五年我們是結婚的狀態。不用說也知道我們的婚姻也不是完美的。但是有一件事我非常確定，那就是當我說"我願意"時，我知道他是值得我信賴的，我知道他愛我，也知道他願意把我放在他生命中最重要的位子上。

我們很年輕就結了婚，當時我們對未來有很多的不確定(我們的錢夠嗎?我們該繼續讀書還是開始工作?)但是，我先生的特質讓我確信他會跟我永遠在一起，一起去面對人生中的挑戰。不用質疑，他也是我最好的朋友，到今天他仍然帶給我許多歡笑和快樂。

So no, I'm not telling you to look for perfection.  Because it doesn't exist.  But just remember there are some things you don't sacrifice.  Especially your own happiness.  Find a good man with a good heart.   

所以。我不是在告訴妳要找一個完美的人。因為這種人根本不存在。但是不要忘記，有些事是不能犧牲的。特別是妳的快樂。

找一個好男人，一個良善的男人，拍一部屬於自己的愛情喜劇片。